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 Post subject: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:23 pm 
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Location: What kind of question is that? At my computer, silly!
I found this on a blog and was totally LOL-ing!

I can easily picture the HBHB men having this application for the young men their daughters want to date.

Quote:
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE FINANCIAL STATEMENT, JOB HISTORY, LINEAGE, AND CURRENT MEDICAL REPORT FROM YOUR DOCTOR.

GENERAL INFORMATION:

NAME_____________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________
WEIGHT____________
IQ__________
GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________
CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If “No”, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
__Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Father? _____________
Mother? _____________
Pastor? _____________
SHORT ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:


______________________________________________________________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:


______________________________________________________________

C. A woman's place is in the:


______________________________________________________________


D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:


______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?


______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:


______________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

In the boxes below, please provide Finger Prints, inked in your own blood for Homeland Security Identity Checking and DNA sampling:

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.

Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

To prepare yourself, should you, by some ice cube’s chance in HELL, be even remotely considered, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating, which is attached to this Application.


Daddy's Rules for Dating
(i.e. rules for your boyfriend or for you if you're a guy)

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
• Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
• Places where there is darkness.
• Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
• Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.
• Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay.
• Hockey games are okay. Old folks’ homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a slow, potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine


from


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:41 am 
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^07 lol:sign CRAZY ! A kidding!

Such a detailed questionaire, even more detailed than the questions by the Police officers in my hometown.
:D


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:01 pm 
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Cute! :lol:

I think my brother made one of these. :?
Oh, wait. He said he just shows them his police gear, including the gun collection.
:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 9:05 pm 
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This reminds me of the movie " Take My Daughters Please" starred by SK. That is a funny movie.


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:50 am 
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I like that movie, too.

Why was it that SK's character, Jess, had a loft bedroom like McCall?
:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:20 pm 
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Location: What kind of question is that? At my computer, silly!
Haha, yes! Wasn't it cute? I can't wait to see what my cousin "T" would come up with and if we ever needed one I'm sure "D" would come up with a "legal contract". LOL


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:24 pm 
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:lol: :lol: You're probably right!


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:45 pm 
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Location: What kind of question is that? At my computer, silly!
Oh, the possibilities! :lol:

This actually inspired me to write a JAG fanfic.

Goodness! I haven't written anything in forever! I may have lost what little touch I had. LOL


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:29 pm 
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Very cool!

I've been posting chapters of To Breathe Again and To Breathe Again: A Second Wind on ff.net, and someone asked about Fools Rush In. I guess I need to get on that, too, but there needs to be some MAJOR editing done.
The person used to be a member of the old board. I guess I could post here, too as I started, but since no one was visiting for so long, I didn't bother. I guess it's possible that non-members were stopping by to read. Hmm.

I even had someone ask if I'd be making more Hunter vids on Youtube. So much work to do! :lol:

Best of luck with your fanfic!
:)


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 9:23 pm 
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LM, do continue with your fanfic writing. In fact I have been reading them when I had time and I really enjoyed it. I'm still wondering how you are going to give an end to the relationship between M and Alex in "Fools Fush In". M is so miserable in that fiction. Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:04 am 
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Thank you, TTeng53. :)
I'm glad you've enjoyed my work and I appreciate that you're a fan.

Have you been reading it here or at fanfiction.net? I'm not sure of who would be able to access that site.

I didn't think anyone read them here anymore, so I went to fanfiction.net.

Yes, Dee Dee is miserable with Alex in "Fools Rush In", isn't she? Poor thing. Things have to get better. Rick to the rescue!
:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:34 pm 
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LM, HATBC, we like your Fan Fiction and Hunter vids very much. It is awsome !

One of us ever translated a Hunter fan fiction into Chinese. I don`t know the wirter,but I remeber the fan fiction name. It is STARING DOWN THE BARREL . The story was posted on the old Hunter board .Did you read it ?


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:06 pm 
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lm_mccall_l57 wrote:
Thank you, TTeng53. :)
I'm glad you've enjoyed my work and I appreciate that you're a fan.

Have you been reading it here or at fanfiction.net? I'm not sure of who would be able to access that site.

I didn't think anyone read them here anymore, so I went to fanfiction.net.

Yes, Dee Dee is miserable with Alex in "Fools Rush In", isn't she? Poor thing. Things have to get better. Rick to the rescue!
:lol:


I read those fanfic from this forum. I don't know about factiction.net. Look forward to your update! :D


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:39 am 
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dream4deedee wrote:
LM, HATBC, we like your Fan Fiction and Hunter vids very much. It is awsome !

One of us ever translated a Hunter fan fiction into Chinese. I don`t know the wirter,but I remeber the fan fiction name. It is STARING DOWN THE BARREL . The story was posted on the old Hunter board .Did you read it ?


Thank you so much! :)
I'm glad that you enjoy my work, too.

I've read so many fanfics that I don't recall reading that one.


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:47 am 
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TTeng53 wrote:
lm_mccall_l57 wrote:
Thank you, TTeng53. :)
I'm glad you've enjoyed my work and I appreciate that you're a fan.

Have you been reading it here or at fanfiction.net? I'm not sure of who would be able to access that site.

I didn't think anyone read them here anymore, so I went to fanfiction.net.

Yes, Dee Dee is miserable with Alex in "Fools Rush In", isn't she? Poor thing. Things have to get better. Rick to the rescue!
:lol:


I read those fanfic from this forum. I don't know about factiction.net. Look forward to your update! :D


Okay. Fanfiction.net has about 90 Hunter fanfics. Some are really great. :)
My username is LM56557.


If you've only read them here, you've missed out on so much. I'm sorry. I have a sequel/continuation to To Breathe Again, and it's called To Breathe Again: A Second Wind.
I think To Breathe Again has 16 chapters, and I'm working on the 11th chapter for TBA: A Second Wind.

I'll start posting here again, soon.
Thanks for staying interested. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:38 am 
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dream4deedee wrote:
LM, HATBC, we like your Fan Fiction and Hunter vids very much. It is awsome !

One of us ever translated a Hunter fan fiction into Chinese. I don`t know the wirter,but I remeber the fan fiction name. It is STARING DOWN THE BARREL . The story was posted on the old Hunter board .Did you read it ?


Aww, thank you!

I remember the title of the fanfic, but that's about it. I can't remembe what it was about or anything. :|


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:42 am 
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Then, I'm not the only one. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:43 am 
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Location: What kind of question is that? At my computer, silly!
Oh, back up a second. There's TBA: A Second Wind? Since when?! I must have missed it all together! I'll have to check ff.net ASAP and get all caught up.

Good luck with FRI, I'd love to see how it ends sometime!

See, people asking about your fics & vids - it's like you're famous! :lol:

Thanks for teh wishes and much luck to you as well!


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:43 am 
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lm_mccall_l57 wrote:
Then, I'm not the only one. :lol:

:lol:

At least we're in good company...I think. :|


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 Post subject: Re: Daughter's are special
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:51 am 
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---------
HATBC wrote:
Oh, back up a second. There's TBA: A Second Wind? Since when?! I must have missed it all together! I'll have to check ff.net ASAP and get all caught up.

Good luck with FRI, I'd love to see how it ends sometime!

See, people asking about your fics & vids - it's like you're famous! :lol:

Thanks for teh wishes and much luck to you as well!


Yes, ma'am! I've gotten deep into writing TBA. :lol:
I posted the first part on ff.net and people liked it. Since I didn't think anyone was reading here, and held someone's interest at ff.net, I was inspired to write even more. It's really long, but nothing like FRI. I think that's a good thing! :lol:

Thanks so much for the well-wishes! :D
Famous? :? That would be a trip! LOL!

Hope your fanfics and vids work out well, and I hope you enjoy catching up with my fanfics.
:)


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